A small red head sleeping on each shoulder, Lugh walked effortlessly to the children's bed. The red curls of the two younger children were barely visible from under the covers. They were tucked in tight. Lugh turned around to where Rua was watching her family and gave her that tolerant patient look he reserved for such occasions.
"Are you sure they can breathe under there?"
She smiled as she crossed over to them and undid the blankets enough so he could put the twins to bed. She couldn't help but kiss Carraig and Amaraiga's heads again before Ruairi and then Blaithin were laid down by their father. She kissed their heads too and pulled the covers back up under their chins, tucking them all back in tightly.
Lugh held out his hand to her. She took it and stood up from the bed.
"It's been an exciting day for them. They missed you."
Rua took a last look over her shoulder at them as Lugh led her out of their room. "I've never been away from you all for so long before. I know how they feel." She squeezed his hand. "The nights were very long."
They came into the kitchen where Lugh's mother was in her rocking chair by the stove sewing up a tear in Ruairi's tunic. She looked up from her careful work when they entered.
"All asleep?"
"Finally", Lugh answered. "Can you watch them for a while? We're going to take a walk."
She smiled at them. "Of course. But wrap up warm, you hear? The nights are fair getting cold so don't sit out on that wall too long."
"No mother." It was a mixture of amusement and exasperation. Rua could never tell which was more in abundance.
"Thank you Mairead, for everything the last few days."
"Oh don't be silly, child. They're little angels."
Rua looked up at her husband. "She is talking about our children, right?"
Mairead laughed. "Wait until you're a grandmother, dear." She winked. "We'll let you in on the secret then. Now go if you're going, you're blocking my light."
They kept tight hold of one another's hands as they walked across the village toward the piece of wall where the old watch point where Rua had often visited Lugh during his watch in the days before they were wed was positioned. It was a significant piece of wall. It was a place of tension, of frustration, anger, a place of forgiveness, acceptance, warmth, and it was a place of love. At least to them. In the years since they had little need to meet in that place - still it was where most of their walks together left them. The various men and women who had since taken over watch from that post in the years between had become quickly used to it and knew better than to challenge them. As it turned out tonight the watch was being kept by a young woman rapidly approaching a marrying age and keeping her company, the young man soon to ask for her hand. They acknowledged the older couple and quickly got back to pretending they were indeed watching. There wasn't much to watch out for these days but most all of the Volksraad felt it would be unwise to relax the night watch too much just yet. Rua and Lugh climbed up and moved along to the far end of the stretch of wall. Lugh stretched out his cloak and they sat with their backs to the battlements looking back in on Armengar. The celebrations were underway. Fires had been lit and the smell of roasting meat was all through the air. No one in Armengar had realised how they were holding their breaths until the delegation to the Gathering of Nations returned. There were a lot of questions. People wanted to know what the agreement with the Lions would mean. There was a lot of uncertainty as it unfolded through the stories being told how not alone Armengar is in the world. There was a lot of anger that some acted dishonourably. And there was a lot of joy as the union of Amos and Aine was celebrated once more.
"It's good to have you back." Lugh gave her a quick but tight squeeze. She winced at the pain below her left ribs and it was noticed before she could think to stop herself. Lugh frowned at her. "You told me you weren't hurt."
"It's mostly healed. It's nothing, Lugh. You just got me by surprise."
He leaned his head back against the wall. "What happened, Rua? Was this the battle you spoke of?"
"The final battle, yes. You should have seen it. We don't believe in hopeless battles and neither do the Lions but this was like no fight I've ever been in before. We're used to two sides - us and them. In that battle there should have been two sides but there were factions and then there was another side. We did not even realise the Bears had turned. I don't know why - they just decided to take on both sides. We followed them because we thought ourselves allies but then they fought our lines. The Lions - and many others - would have lost a lot of people were it not for the Ritual of Peace."
There was a grumble from beside her. "Yes. I've heard talk of that. That it could not be relied upon to remain intact."
She looked at him. "There were incidents. Yes."
He looked back at her, like he was peering straight through everything he knew she was trying to avoid telling him. "Chareos spoke of the Prince Bishop. Of King Rhino. Where was the ritual of peace for them?"
"They were... amongst the exceptions. Ultimately it is still a battle - even if it was one without a cause I could fully understand - best I know we were supporting Lion allies becuase they did the same for us - and not everyone on the field can be expected to act with honour. The Prince Bishop - it was a revenge killing by the Vipers for destroying one of their Undead commanders I believe. She was poisoned and the healers prevented from reaching her. In the battle against the Progenitor there were 'death mats' brought into the field to kill the Progenitor's men through this ritual. Mistakes were made and a Tarantula was killed on a Lion death mat. They will have to pay for that now. It was the Progenitor that killed King Rhino before he himself was brought down. He commanded him die and no ritual could stop that." She shivered. "I thank Heramacles he is no more. What I heard of the Progenitor -I didn't like. He was on old enemy of the Lions - one that fed his army on flesh. He came to Erdreja to... restock." She shivered again. "There were moments as I listened to the tales being told that I wished we could return to the times when we knew only our walls and the one enemy outside them."
Lugh held her closer. "I hate not being able to watch your back."
"I'm a well trained fighter. You don't have to worry about me."
"No?"
"It's only a scratch!"
"You've said that before!" He took a breath. "I know. You're Armengarian - you can handle yourself and your magics seem to get better every time I see them. But ever since that day..."
She let her head fall back against him. "I know. It haunts me too. But you got to me in time and I made it. It's over."
She could feel him nodding behind her and they sat in silence for a moment or two, watching the smoke and sparks curl up from the fires. The occasional wave of laughter or rowdy cheers rolled towards and over them. Then Rua turned herself around to her husband.
"Do you regret it? That we will most likely never have another child again?"
He closed his eyes and let his head rest against the stone behind him. "We talked about this over and over last year." His eyes opened to peer straight into her. "Rua." His hand touched and remained on her cheek. "I am as happy as a man can be with the four fine healthy children you've provided. And I hope I need not remind you that you are much more to me than just a mother for my children. I regret that you were hurt and all the subsequent pain it caused you but that is all."
She came onto her knees. "I know Lugh. But that was when there was nothing we could do about it. The magics - I wish you could have seen it! There were amazing magics there like tenfold what Mactire or Fionnuala can do. Healing skills that make Midir look like a child running around with bandages. Rituals - the rituals I saw performed took my breathe away. I watched as gauntlets were made more powerful, I saw shades of people separate and merge! I don't think there's anything that couldn't be done! Midir is a fine healer. He has saved both our lives on more than one occasion... but he couldn't fix this." She touched her hands to above her womb. "Mactire could do nothing either so we learned to live with it. But what if we don't have to? I'm sure there is someone amongst the Lions who could help us. If we wanted to."
Lugh took both her hands. "I know how much this means to you - I know you think a man could never understand but I do know you. If this is something you really want and it will make you happy then you should see if it is possible. But please don't do this because you think I would want you to."
She frowned. "Don't you want more children?"
He laughed lightly and pulled gently at her hands to bring her closer. He wrapped her in his arms. "Now is not the time for such serious discussions my love but I know you'll only get upset if I don't answer the question. It's not that I don't want more children, it's that more children could make me no happier with my lot than I already am. And I'm getting too old for the worry of having a pregnant wife."
"Too old? Lugh you're only twenty two!" She let her head fall against his chest. Its solidity betrayed his words. He was still very much in his prime.
He tossed her hair. "Not so young yourself. In a couple of years Carraig will be going to training school too and that'll be our family all raised. Next thing you know we'll be grandparents and we'll be left to tend the fields while they run around getting 'just scratches'."
She hit him on the arm. "Oh stop it. Okay, we'll talk about it another time. But speaking of the training school - is Blaithin still having trouble?"
Her head lifted and fell as Lugh sighed. "Yes. I've been trying to train her myself to catch her up but she's... she's such a timid little thing. I can teach her all the right moves but she gets frustrated so easy and drops her sword. I can be patient with her but when it happens at the school the teachers shout at her and she starts to cry. Then the other children tease her and set her off again so Ruairi steps to her defense and gets into a fight with them." His chest puffed up as his voice rang with pride. "He wins every time of course."
"I'll bring her to speak with Midir and Mactire. See if the ways of healing or magic might suit her better."
"She still needs to learn to fight. She has to be able to defend herself."
"I know that. But maybe having something she's good at will teach her to have more confidence in herself. Once she has that learning to be an adequate fighter is easy. She's still young. Maybe the Lions are right. We do push them into the ways of war too soon."
Lugh blinked. "The Lions said that? Our way of preparing our young has kept us alive for generations. What do they know of it?"
"It came up as we discussed the terms of our joining." She rolled her head up to look at him. "And don't worry, they know better than to try dictate how we raise our children. But we did talk about perhaps not starting them so early - at least not so intensely to begin with. They seemed rather appalled by how we deal with traitors. Their death mats are apparently more 'civilised'."
Lugh pulled himself up and rearranged himself to better support them. "Everything and everyone has their use. Even traitors serve a final usefulness to the community."
"I agree. The few nightmares I might have had when I started school were nothing I'm sure to what might have gone wrong had I not been able to kill when I first went into battle with the Calebii. But things are different now. When we grew up there was no doubt that we would soon stand in battle and have only the choice to kill or be killed. It might just happen - and I hope to Heramacles it does - that our children will not have to face that certainty. Depending on how this year and a day trial as part of the Lions goes, there will always be battles to keep our people well practised, but it might just be that we can make other choices now too. We talked of expanding the school - the Lions could send teachers for things like magic, diplomacy, healing, knowledge. It will always be the Armengarian way to learn to fight and defend ourselves from an early age but I think there's merit to the idea of there being more than that. Perhaps even not beginning the war craft lessons until they're six instead of five! It's a big change but think of it! A whole year more of childhood!"
Lugh laughed. "If that goes ahead you're the one that's going to explain to Amaraiga why she has to wait two years now instead of one! She's been begging me again to let her go to school. For the last three mornings she's woken up with 'Is it next year yet?'"
She smiled up at him, hearing the weariness in his tone. "Admit it. They have you tired out."
He shook his head amusedly then kissed the top of her head. "I have no idea how you do this every day - take care of the four of them, keep us all fed, keep up with your own training and still have time to learn magics!" He snuggled his head down closer to hers and whispered quietly into her ear. "Not to mention putting up with my demands at night."
She kissed him. "It's not so difficult when I love doing every one of those things. But now that you bring it up, there is something I want to discuss with you."
He ruffled her hair. "I knew there was something going on in there. It's not just the baby thing, is it?"
She sat back up and around so that she was facing him. "I've always been amazed by the magics Mactire brought to Armengar. It was nothing any of us alive had ever seen before. I thought Mactire to be invincible. I never really understood why he needed Caoimhe and I to defend him."
"All his skills lie in magic. He's not the hardened warrior you and Caoimhe are."
"I saw that. We got into some trouble against the Progenitor's men." Seeing the look in his face she quickly took his face in her hands. "But we got out of it so don't worry - took one of them down too!" She tucked her knees under her chin, wrapping her arms around them. "That's not what I mean. What I mean is I saw many people with far greater magics. It awakened a thirst in me. Until now I've been learning magic so we can better defeat the Calebii - but at the Gathering I saw how much more magic can do. The rituals, Lugh - I can't describe the feeling of the power I had just watching them! I spoke to Fionnuala after she participated in restoring Pape - I saw what it took out of her but I also saw what it put back in. My deepest regret of the time we spent there is that I could not attend the ritual to bring King Rhino back for his last words."
"I suppose something like that would be for Lion command only."
"Oh no - it was open to all. Some of the others were there. None of us knew King Rhino but even they found it intensely emotional. I was in the Bear camp with Mactire."
He quickly took hold of her arm. "The Bears? The ones that turned on everyone in the battle?"
"It was before that. Mactire was chosen as Lion ambassador to them. We had a message to bring. Actually while we were waiting there they picked up a man outside their gates claiming to be selling maps of all the other faction camps. They asked him could he provide a map of the Lions camp - while we were there with them - poor idiot said he could. Didn't know what he got himself into. They knocked him out, stripped him, and left him outside his own camp. Never heard from him again."
"Was there a lot of that going on?"
"The Scouts Guild were doing their best to get into all the camps. I believe ours was the only one they didn't manage. We had very tight security on the gate." She smiled. "Particularly during the Armengar shift."
He chuckled. "I don't doubt it. But your eyes were glowing something wild while you were talking about magics - what are you thinking?"
"Well, I could learn more. There's still a lot to learn from Mactire and now there's the possibility of other teachers - but that's not all. I haven't spoken to Mactire of this yet but I want to pursue ritual magics." She waited expectantly for his reply.
Lugh groaned. "I was afraid that's where you were heading. Rua, my sweet love, ritual magics are by their nature dangerous. They go wrong so easily - isn't that how the Farseekers got stuck here all that time ago?"
"Lugh walking onto a battlefield with a sword is by its nature dangerous but we've been doing that most our lives. You only see this as more so because it's new. Armengar has no ritualists and we had no need of them. But now if we're to be part of the larger world, we're going to need this. I'm not the only one who thinks so. Fuildubh agrees."
Lugh's eyes widened and he pulled himself stiff upright. "I don't trust the Delalarians, Rua. I don't like you talking to them. And I heard from Fraoch how he fled from the battle."
"And Chareos is quite adamant he'll pay for that. It was just a conversation. I'm not going to be uncivil because we don't like what Delalaria stands for. And at the risk of adding more fuel to your anger at me right now-"
"I'm not angry at you, I just don't trust them."
"I've always known where my loyalties and duties lie. Trust that."
"I do."
"Anyway her brave noble sacrifice may well have been an act of insanity from what I heard."
He groaned and let his head fall in his hand.
"If he chooses to learn ritual magics then the only Armengarian ritualist will be calling on that. Armengar has to have someone else."
"You?"
"If you don't want me to do this I won't."
"I'm first of all trying to work out what this has to do with your father."
In an instant Rua was on her feet. "I don't have a father."
He stayed where he was, looking up at her, her arms folded and looking out over the wall. He guessed at the statue the Calebii left behind. "Diarmuid, then."
"Why would this have anything to do with him?"
"Because, my sweet Rua, most everything you do does. You worked yourself into the ground for the Farseekers to try make up for his treachery. You took to magic because he despised it. No one has ever asked it of you but you are constantly trying to prove your loyalty. Your duty to Armengar and to me is well paid but still you talk of having more children when I can see in your eyes how much more you want to pursue this path of magic. Why do you give me the choice to stop you from doing the one thing I've ever seen you truly want?"
"You're my husband."
He stood up and went to lean on the battlements beside her. The statue was little more than a darker shadow against a dark sky. "Why do you want this?"
There was silence for a long moment but finally she turned to him. "You're right. I hate that I'm of his blood. I hate that people see that when they look at me."
"They don't! They see only you - a brave and loyal warrior that would lay down her life for Armengar. If I don't speak true why do they let you on the Volksraad?"
"So was he once. Before my brothers died." Before he could object again she held his arm. "But that's not the point. When I watched those rituals he was nowhere near my thoughts. I was inspired and it had nothing to do with him - not a thought for what he might think. I don't want to do this to prove anything to anyone - I want to do it because... it called to me."
He took hold of her arm in turn. "Then do it. Speak to Mactire and arrange your training. Mother will help you with the children."
"I'll have to cut back on my physical training. Just keep on enough to stay in shape."
"Fraoch will understand. If not he'll have me to deal with."
"Lugh!"
He smiled back at her. "I could give it a good try."
"There's something else. I can increase my magic here and I hope I can begin to learn of rituals from the Lion left at our transport circle - but soon I'm going to need more. Not straight away but I may need to travel to the other isles where there may be more teachers."
It dampened his mood but he tried not to let it show. "Well... there's no sense to worrying about that now. If it's something you need when the time comes... I owe you that much." He shrugged. "Maybe you could take Blaithin with you. It might do her good to see value placed on more than just fighting. We'll work it out."
Rua covered her face with her hands but he could see the upward curl of her lips behind them. "Thank you."
Her smile was as ever beautiful when she dropped her hands from her face to put them around his neck in a bear hug. He squeezed her and kissed her neck. "Don't be silly."
As they walked back across the main square the festivities were still going strong. Samples of all the different foods and drinks to be found in Erdreja were being passed around the people by Lir and Caradawc. Chareos had just addressed the crowd to introduce Fraoch as their new Protector with himself as High Protector and the enthusiasm back from the crowd was alcohol sated but encouraging nonetheless. He spoke too of the Armengarian captaincies in the Lions fleet, of Taliesin's promotion to admiral, of Midir's new role on the Lions Senate. Tomorrow would see talk of the darker deeds of the journey - the turncoat Rhianna who fought with the Dragons, Aongus who for a reason no one fully understood, saw fit to attack Chareos, Fuildubh who did not stand with his countrymen. But tonight was for celebration alone. Eirlys was by the fire telling stories to the small handful of children who had not yet exhausted themselves into slumber. Even Rhyan was looking less grumpy though Rua knew his brief experience as Protector while Chareos was away was still with him. Amos and Aine had long since disappeared from the gathering to their new home together. Lugh squeezed Rua's hand.
"Was it a good wedding?"
"Strange to be there without you, but yes. There were a few amongst the Lions that same day. My duties prevented me from attending them all. But it was another way to see how we're not so different. I think this could work. Being part of the Lions."
"We have a little less than a year to be sure of that."
"There's a lot we can learn from them and to be honest after all I've seen, I don't think we could make it on our own."
He sighed. "What was that you were saying about only knowing walls and Calebii?"
"There's also a lot of good out there. We're going to be okay."
They wound their way through the houses leaving the winding down crowd further behind. As they passed Kyldar's home there was a smaller gathering inside where more tales were for the telling. He asked them in to share their stories but Rua and Lugh politely declined. When they returned to their home there were no candles burning. Mairead had retired for the night. Lugh stopped Rua before she opened the door.
"It's good to have you home. I've missed you."
"And I you. It's good to be back."
"Part of me hates that you've had a taste of life outside these walls. That I know it will call to you to leave me again."
"Lugh-"
He put a finger on her lips. "But the part that loves the fire you've got burning in your eyes right now is far greater. I only hope that some of it is still-"
This time it was her that silenced him. "This is my home. You're my home. While my path may take me away from here, my heart will always bring me back. You never have to worry about that."
He smiled and took her hand. With his finger he traced a path around the lines of her palm. "You know you've been gone from me a very long time. We've never been apart before."
"Um. I noticed."
"I've a lot of... demands that haven't been met."
"Really? Then perhaps we should do something about that."
"What an excellent idea!" As she laughed he picked her up and somehow managed to open the door at once. It soon closed shut behind them.
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